emotions

Economic worldview -> Sacred worldview

I love to lose myself in Chinatown – chandeliers, mushrooms of every variety, cherry bark, tobacco, jasmine pearl tea, rambutans, so many fish.  I hear sounds that I don’t understand.  It’s another world, and if you know me, you know I love feeling immersed in sensory stimulation and other worlds.  

I also love Chinatown because my great-grandfather Morris, who died in 1975, walked these streets and the streets of the Lower East Side with the dust of Lithuania on his shoulders.  I can feel his energy and his presence through time.  I imagine us walking under the same sky. 

Spatially close but sometimes worlds away, some people eat squid in Chinatown while a few blocks away other people eat celery root pot pie on the Lower East Side while decades ago my great-grandfather ate a pickle.  

Our lives are full of so many possible permutations. Metaphorically speaking, you are so close to the other worlds of possibilities that you have in your mind. If you have begun the energetic work of imagining and beginning, it is already taking shape.

Morris’s world took shape exactly as it was laid out for him by his father - and I know this because my family has decades of letters between worlds - the old world; the new world. His vision - honor God, find a woman, have children, and trust that your livelihood will be taken care of. All of this came into being. It was the life imagined, and then lived.

We live inside our worldview. It is usually unconscious; we simply live inside our world as we see it. Our worldview is shaped by time, cultural conditioning, our personal stories, and our inner emotional landscape.

Our worldview shapes our vision of what could be. It is the roots of our actions and the way we go about things. Our worldview shapes the possibilities and outcomes of our lives.

Consciously working with our worldview can reshape the outcomes of our lives and work if we want.  We can explore what our worldview is rooted in and then make a conscious choice to expand or shift our worldview if we wish.

Just as we step onto planes in one place and step out of them in another place, we can shift our worldview, and become more conscious of our habitual choices. We can time travel by shifting our worldview.

What is your worldview?

Sacred Worldview + Economic Worldview 

Your vision of the future world reflects your worldview. 

What do you believe?  

What world are you living inside?

As I crave more space for slow time, connection, collaboration, pleasure, expansion, love, I have become interested in the kind of world these experiences can thrive within - along with the emotional roots that create different worlds.

The Economic Worldview

The Economic Worldview says that anything that can sell and have economic gain is meaningful and valuable, and anything that can’t sell is without value.   

This worldview establishes relative value between people and things.  We turn what is evolving and pulsating - life, learning, rest, desire - into a commodity.   

The push is to maximize economic gain, to measure worth in numbers, and to seek validation relative to how others view us rather than through our relationship with ourselves.  That frames how we pursue opportunities and make choices in our lives. 

Reward and punishment, low risk, and low self-expression abound.  We care about what will sell.  This is a transactional worldview; a world of promotion. In my observation, it is rooted in fear.

At best, an economic worldview can spur continuous improvement, innovation, and growth.  At worst, the Economic Worldview creates disconnection.

The Sacred Worldview

The Sacred Worldview values all life, and this inspires feelings of love, compassion, and responsibility. Appreciation for life turns your learning, your activities, your self-expression into a relational creation, rather than transaction.  The Sacred Worldview sees the world as symbiotic and interdependent, naturally right.  We are all integral parts of a larger unified whole.  We all have intrinsic worth, regardless of what we sell.

Wholeness, becoming, consciousness, bliss, awe, mystery, reverence, joy, dignity, rapture, amazement, abundance, collaboration, and connection are supported in the sacred worldview.  We tap into the natural abundance of the world- our rich and sacred flow of creativity, service, experiences, conversation, feeling, learning, relationships, spiritual transformation, and visibility.  

In this Sacred Worldview, enrichment, wealth, and money are all part of natural flow and abundance.  Rather than possessing, we allow money to be part of our energetic flow, like blood flowing through our veins.

Service, wealth, and love are intertwined.

As Kahlil Gibran said, “Work is love made visible.”  Work, he said, is “turning the voice of the wind into a song made sweeter by your own loving.”

Let your love permeate your offerings.

The Sacred Worldview nurtures collaboration and connection - but without the tools to work with our emotions, it’s really hard to live with this worldview.

Emotions and Worldview

We all want to survive.

Most of us want to thrive.

We want to feel worthy.

We all want to love and feel loved.

We want to self-actualize.

But fear is rooted deep inside our DNA. Our primitive minds have a survival brain that has a negativity bias. To survive on supposedly scarce resources, we scan our environment for danger. We think we need to be on guard, and seek destroy invaders who are different from us.

As we have evolved, we have developed a frontal cortex that can get the messages (of danger, threat, fear) from our survival brain and then know how to work with that.

But if we’ve been deeply hurt through trauma, as most people have, it is very normal to engage the limbic system, and fight, flee, or freeze for our survival. And when we are emotionally hijacked, sometimes we do things that hurt others - through devaluing them, harming them, lacking compassion, promoting shame and hatred, “othering” people, competing, and creating false hierarchies of worth.

Sometimes exploring your worldview means stepping on a plane…or a boat. Often it means exploring your inner landscape of emotions, and becoming more aware of your thoughts, feelings, and needs - as they are now. Time travel can happen without physically going anywhere else.

Befriend All of You

If you are feeling the drive for survival drive in your business or career, sometimes that gets you to improve your performance. Go deeper. Is your drive to survive rooted in fear or love? Become aware of what’s happening in your thoughts.

Befriend fear. Notice and accept the presence of fear without pushing it away. Allow yourself to notice it so you can come to understand it more.

Feel into your heart. Allow your heart to soften, and explore your feelings underneath the fear. How are you feeling vulnerable? What parts of yourself are you seeing that you don’t like or don’t want to accept - guilt, shame, feeling not enough, feeling wrong or bad?

Ask your most vulnerable self how you need to nurture and love yourself. Perhaps you need to offer yourself forgiveness, release some tears, hold yourself tight in a blanket, dance, breath deeply, or tell yourself that you are loveable exactly as you are.

As you heal yourself, you can heal the world.

It takes conscious commitment to know and nurture yourself to move into compassion, collaboration, and natural abundance. It also takes repetition, as life is fluid and dynamic, and new circumstances arise that help us continue to cultivate our self-love.

Imagine who are and what you will create in your vision for your future when you are consistently bringing love - rather than fear - into your soft heart.

Practices

1.    I invite you to look at the world of emotions, ideas, and beliefs that have created the world you inhabit.  What is the worldview inside of you?  What emotions is your world rooted in? What emotions would you like to consciously cultivate?

2.    Who are you inside the Sacred World - a world of collaboration, natural abundance, safety, and love? What do you create?

3.    What helps you move between worlds?  For me, it’s walking in a new neighborhood, stepping onto airplanes, meditating, swimming, floating, drinking tea, drinking cacao, sex, talking to strangers (not in that order), breathing deeply, seeing the stars, forgiveness practice, singing, reading, talking to kids or old people, sharing an emotion with a person I trust, writing letters, or being in deep appreciation and gratitude.  How do you travel between worlds? How would you like to travel between worlds today?

Offerings

Explore worlds inside you in this 40 minute guided vision meditation that starts with resting in your body and then seeing your vision.

If you’ll be in New York, join other luminous visionaries tuning into truth at the next Multi-Vision Lab on September 5th, 5:30-7:30PM at the gorgeous Assemblage Park Ave. South. Check out photos from the first Multi-Vision Lab.

I’m forming new masterminds for the fall, beginning mid-September. There is magical power in a group of supportive big vision people holding space for each other’s dreams in a worldview that welcomes collaboration, self-expression, and love. Book time with me by September 13th to explore masterminding this fall, getting ready to expand into 2020 with a community of support and accountability.

Listen to Your Emotions

Listen to Your Emotions

If you can identify your feeling and listen to their message, your emotions can empower you. 

Anger tells you a boundary is crossed.

Sadness signals loss.

Fear signals danger. 

Joy uplifts your energy.

Having feelings is richly human.  Your truth matters. 

But we’ve all experienced emotional hijacking. Something triggers you, and it’s usually an old wound. On impulse, you move to old behaviors that somehow helped you to take care of that old wound. Icing someone out. Telling someone off. Collapsing into a puddle of unworthiness. Numbing out with alcohol, drugs, food, shopping, or work.

Different results will happen when you give yourself space to respond to situations with calm instead of reactivity. 

When you have mastery over your feelings, you learn to avoid your knee-jerk impulses that could hurt you and your relationships. That gives you more choices in how to productively respond to triggering situations or your own triggering thinking.

Tending to your emotions can help you increase your resilience and your ability to sustain awesome performance and high character regardless of the stressful situation that might be happening, or to take a pause long enough to process your emotion and return to work when you are able. 

Not only does tending to your emotion help your performance, it also helps your emotional, mental, and physical health. There’s opportunity to heal yourself, and byproduct of that might be to offer healing to others who will learn from you how to be present and responsible with your feelings.

Mark Twain said this:

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.

Working through our emotions and stresses, we have the potential to create something beautiful.

So how do you grow your emotional mastery, and positively perfume your world?

Knowing your triggers will help you increase your inner and outer resources to work through a stressful situation, and to find some ease and calm.  In working through stressful emotions, you can learn to cultivate the “relaxation response”, a term coined by Dr. Herbert Benson at Harvard Medical School in the 1970s.  You can cultivate your ability to create calm at will.  In creating this ease in your body and mind, you can improve your health, relationships, and decision-making skills.

An emotion lasts about 90 seconds, at most.  If it lasts beyond 90 seconds, it’s because the emotion is continuously being triggered – either because you have not left the triggering situation, or you are perpetuating the emotion with your thinking.

You can learn to create space between the trigger and your response so your emotions are neither dismissed nor overblown. You can increase your ability to identify your emotion, listen to your need, and respond to your need.  

No matter what your emotion is, there are strategies to identify your emotions, listen to your needs, and respond with your best outcome in mind. There are so many fun emotions to look at - here we’re going to look at anger.

Anger

Anger comes out of the the need to protect and restore a value, an idea, or a position.  Someone has crossed your boundary.  Your client is late to a call. You missed your own deadline. A technology glitch messed up a group call. You have a disagreement with your partner about the nature of love.

So, what do you do with your anger?

If you slow down your response, you can feel into it and choose how to respond for the best possible outcome.

  1. Thank it. Celebrate it. Your anger has a place in your body for a reason. Tell your anger that it is absolutely welcome here. Have a personal experience with your anger in your body.

  2. Notice and feel it. Is it hot and sharp? Where is the anger in your body?  You might feel tight in your neck. You might feel a sharp sensation in your chest. You might have a headache. Your stomach might feel tight.  Feel it. 

  3. When it has passed, think about it. How do you typically work with your anger?  Do you back down, explode, get frazzled, numb out, or repress your anger?  Do you get sarcastic, self-righteous, or overcome with rage?  Does your anger empower you or give you clarity?

  4. Consider how your anger impacts your well-being. You might experience anger as powerful and energizing.  You might experience it as nauseating and debilitating.  When you know your patterns with anger, you have perspective to think about whether your habitual responses to anger serve you, or if there are more productive ways of working with your anger.

  5. Remember your values and choose yourself.  What message is your anger telling you? What is important to protect, maintain, and value in this situation?

  6. Choose your response. What will you say or do? Your response could be an internal action or an external action. You might decide to sit in the heat of your anger and let it pass while you remind yourself that you cannot control others.

    Or, you might have something to say or do that involves other people. If you do have something to say or do, ask yourself, does it have to be now? Your aim is to communicate your boundaries so you are most effective - direct, empathetic, and clear.

Whether you’re working through anger, sadness, or fear - your emotions can be powerful messengers. It takes time and practice to refine your emotional skills, and no situation is the same so it’s a constant practice.

When you’re emotionally triggered, it’s often because you attach negative thoughts to a situation.  A friend is succeeding and that means you can’t. You didn’t get a project that you wanted, and that means that you won’t get any future projects. Someone interrupts you and that means that they don’t value your ideas. 

When you are going down the rabbit hole of negative thoughts related to the feeling, pause, and think about alternatives.  A friend is succeeding and that means you can learn from them. You don’t get a project that you wanted, and that means that you have space for something even better. Someone interrupts you and that’s because they’re excited about your collective ideas.

The negative thoughts you have about a situation are sometimes right, and sometimes wrong. Imagining positive alternatives is not about denying a shitty situation, but about expanding possibilities and channeling your feelings towards something better.

So, choose yourself when you have strong emotions.

Cultivate a positive intention to use your feelings for good.  Anger can lead you to making a clear request or stating a clear need. 

Consider how you’d like to feel and be supported. Maybe you need to self-soothe by pausing, taking a walk, wrapping yourself in blankets, placing your right hand on your heart and left hand on your stomach, or breathing in for 3 counts and out for 4 counts. 

Consider how you want your customers, clients, and community to feel as you respond to situations that anger you.

Nobody but you can take care of your feelings and needs.  Listening to your emotions and responding to them empowers you to lead with your values and your value.